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The World's Best Bad Golf Tournament: A Documentary About Bad Golf
 
 
“This documentary on Bad Golf would give Leonard Pinth-Garnell a myoclonic seizure. I loved every bit of the nonsense!” -- Gary McCord
 
 
 
   
   
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PLAYER PROFILES > JASON MEYERS

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Where are you from?
I am from Winnetka IL., but have lived in the mountains of Colorado.

Do you prefer boxers or briefs?
I prefer neither boxers nor briefs. If it was up to me, I wouldn't even wear pants.

What do you do for a living?
I am a janitor. It keeps me humble.

How long have you been playing golf?
I use to play golf as a child growing up but the elitism of the sport made me quit playing. The only reason I entered this tournament is because it was opened to all.

If you could pick a dream foursome, who would be in it?
My dream foursome would be Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba, Jenifer Aniston, and Whoopi Goldberg.

Who are your personal heroes?
My personal hero is Bucky. Bucky was a guy I met while I was living under a highway in Boulder. He was such a genuis that he spoke in puzzles that you had to figure out in order to know what he was really talking about. He once said to me "I killed my family and you will eventually be next." I am still trying to figure that one out.

What's your favorite food?
My favorite food is anything that I can digest. It has been trial and error for me the last couple of years while I have been struggling financially. I can't do bark. I know that.

Are congruent parts of congruent triangles congruent?
What's a "triangle"?

Republicans or democrats?  Or Nader?
I always write-in Bucky for every election.

What professional golfer are you most like?  Why?
I am most like professional putt-putt golfer Deano Jackson.  He was one of the kindest, most selfless men I have ever known. He had all the answers to life and nothing ever got to him. I was going to ask him for advice on this tournament, but he had hung himself on a tree at his children's high school.

What's your favorite color?
My favorite color is orange. It is the color of pumpkins, leaves in the fall, and it was the color of some of the nicesest clothes I had worn in a long time when I was locked up for possesion in a Fort Collins jail.

What's the strongest part of your golf game?
The strongest part of my golf game is putting the ball on the tee. It's all downhill after that. Or getting out of a bunker. I use to live in the sand. Literally. I once lived in a sand trap for three days.
 
Blondes or brunettes?
If a lady has hair, thats good enough for me.

What's the weakest part of your golf game?
The weakest part of my golf game is actually being able to play. I have been kicked off of more courses than I can count. Sometimes the rules of golf and the rules of Jason conflict.

What do you think is the biggest problem currently facing our world?
There are so many problems facing the world today but I think the biggest one is the game of golf. The way it only caters to rich, successful people stinks. I am playing in this tournament to help change those views.

What will you do with the $250,000 if you win?
If I won $250,000 I would probably go back to school, graduate and finally get my life in some sort of socially accepted order...or I might relapse.

Is Al Doermaet a.) brilliant b.) crazy c.) the dumbest f&%#@* guy you've ever seen d.) all of the above?  Why?
Al Doermaet is brilliant. He is turning golfing traditions upside down. He is a revolutionary. I might introduce him to Bucky.

What's your favorite movie (other than handicapped)?
The only other movie I kind of remember seeing is the one they showed in my DUI class. The first part of the movie was great. People were partying and getting drunk. Then the party was over and everybody got in their cars to drive home. I don't remember what happened after that. But it was a fun movie.

Note: These answers, submitted in writing by Mr. Meyers, have not been edited or altered in any way. Please excuse any typos or factual inconsistencies.

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