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The World's Best Bad Golf Tournament: A Documentary About Bad Golf
 
 
“This documentary on Bad Golf would give Leonard Pinth-Garnell a myoclonic seizure. I loved every bit of the nonsense!” -- Gary McCord
 
 
 
   
   
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John Barmon, actor who played Spalding Smails
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PLAYER PROFILES > GEORGE KEARNEY

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Where are you from?
Glenview, IL

Do you prefer boxers or briefs?
Boxers

What do you do for a living?
I'm retired, but I do enjoy woodworking

How long have you been playing golf?
Too long to be this bad. I used to spend a lot of time on Canal Shores, a golf course in Evanston, fishing balls out of the canal with my brother and selling them back to golfers. It was a good little business. The price of golf balls, if you can believe it, has fallen over time, not even taking into account inflation. Eventually I made the mistake of taking up the game.

If you could pick a dream foursome, who would be in it?
That's a tough one. Maybe me and my three kids. Only the girls don't golf. They've seen what this game can do to the human spirit and have--WISELY--stayed away.

Who are your personal heroes?
Dwight Eisenhower, Mike Ditka, and Abraham Lincoln.

What’s your favorite food?
Chicken curry. I also enjoy lamb.

Are congruent parts of congruent triangles congruent?
I don't honestly remember.

Republicans or democrats?  Or Nader?
Republicans. THough the last 8 years have been tough to stomach.

What professional golfer are you most like?  Why?
Bruce Fleisher. I'm hoping to get better with age, too.

What’s your favorite color?
Tough one. I really haven't thought about this in probably 55 years. I guess green.

What’s the strongest part of your golf game?
The standing up part.

Blondes or brunettes?
Brunettes--I'm married to one.

What’s the weakest part of your golf game?
Sand game.

What do you think is the biggest problem currently facing our world?
I am very involved with the erectile dysfunction foundation. It might be a stretch to say that's the biggest issue facing our world. It's up there, though. I suppose islamic fundamentalism and terrorism might be the biggest problems. Poverty is bad, too.

What will you do with the $250,000 if you win?
Well, I've already pledged half of it to the ED foundation.

Is Al Doermaet a.) brilliant b.) crazy c.) the dumbest f&%#@* guy you’ve ever seen d.) all of the above?  Why? 
Having met the man only briefly, I think I have to go with B. He's a very very strange man.

What’s your favorite movie (other than handicapped)?
American Velvet.

Note: These answers, submitted in writing by Mr. Kearney, have not been edited or altered in any way. Please excuse any typos or factual inconsistencies.

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