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The World's Best Bad Golf Tournament: A Documentary About Bad Golf
 
 
“This documentary on Bad Golf would give Leonard Pinth-Garnell a myoclonic seizure. I loved every bit of the nonsense!” -- Gary McCord
 
 
 
   
   
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John Barmon, actor who played Spalding Smails
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PLAYER PROFILES > JOHN BARMON

In order to see more profiles, please click on the player pictures above.

Where are you from?
All over, military family...born in Japan, etc. etc. Left home when I was fifteen to pursue a career in hand modeling.

Do you prefer boxers or briefs?
Neither, nothin' comes b'tween me and my "George Forman" brand casual slacks with the "Comfort Fit" waistband.  

What do you do for a living?
Real Estate....mostly.  

How long have you been playing golf?
Since I was in that "other" golf movie....so 1979, thereabouts.

If you could pick a dream foursome, who would be in it?
I'm not in to kinky sex, thanks anyway.

Who are your personal heroes?
Spiderman, The Tick, and the world famous detective Adrian Monk.

What’s your favorite food?
Hamburgers, cheesburgers...hot dogs, french fries, milk shakes....

Are congruent parts of congruent triangles congruent?
Ummmm..welllll... sure thing, sounds good.

Republicans or democrats?  Or Nader?
Mormons, Mitt rocks!

What professional golfer are you most like?  Why?
John Daly when he was partying a lot.

What’s your favorite color?
Seafoam for dress up, carribean sunset for my toenails.

What’s the strongest part of your golf game?
My outfit, no matter what I think it's important to look good.

Blondes or brunettes?
Redheads with highlights.

What’s the weakest part of your golf game?
Everthing in between when I tee off at the first hole to when I take that first cool sip of an adult beverage in the clubhouse after.

What do you think is the biggest problem currently facing our world?
Hippety hop music, reality TV, and universal remotes.

What will you do with the $250,000 if you win.
Buy a new apartment building, a new outfit, and lap dances...lots and lots of lap dances.

Is Al Doermaet a.) brilliant b.) crazy c.) the dumbest f&%#@* guy you’ve ever seen d.) all of the above?  Why?
Who? Is he the guy from "The Newlywed Game"?

What’s your favorite movie (other than handicapped)?
Caddyshack II ...best movie ever!When do we find out if we passed this quiz?

Note: These answers, submitted in writing by Mr. Barmon, have not been edited or altered in any way. Please excuse any typos or factual inconsistencies.

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