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The World's Best Bad Golf Tournament: A Documentary About Bad Golf
 
 
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John Barmon, actor who played Spalding Smails
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PLAYER PROFILES > JIMMY BARDO

Where are you from?
Skokie, IL by way of Hammond, IN 

Do you prefer boxers or briefs?
Briefs.  The game ultimately is about being in control at all times.  Also, when I’m relaxing or just maybe writing some tunes for my band (Jimmy Bardo and the Gun Show), I wear some cumfy boxers and maybe a tank top.

What do you do for a living?

Sales.  Auto and basically, well, ya got any eskimos in need of katchup ice cream cones, wearing white gloves, perhaps?  You get it…..

How long have you been playing golf?

Since I was…..two years.  Competitevly for a year and a half.  So, almost 4 years.

If you could pick a dream foursome, who would be in it?
Rocky, Phil Mickelson, John Walmart, and Napolean Bona Parte.  For obvious reasons, I wouldn’t even play.  I’d just drive along them and caddy a bit, offer insight or advice where I could.

Who are your personal heroes?
My girlfriend.  And my not so personal heroes (not including the guys in my dream foursome) are Evil Kenival, Snoop Doggy Dogg, and Frankenstien.  There not personal because I haven’t met those guys yet.

What’s your favorite food?
Pizza.  And gum, too.

Are congruent parts of congruent triangles congruent?
Excellent question.  Congruency lies in the eye of the beholder.  A triangle can loose congruency in a certain temperature, which I saw on cable.  So, really, it is a paradoxicality or in laymans speak a trick question.  The answer is sometimes.

Republicans or democrats?  Or Nader?

I don’t believe in lables like that.  I think someone could be a Nader, a Republican, or a Democrat and vote on stuff they believe in instead of just voting for what their stupid Nader buddies vote for.  I’m for no parties, just open mindedness and free speech.

What professional golfer are you most like?  Why?
Mickelson.  It’s eerie.  You’ll see…..watch the movie.  And then, tape some Phil off tv and then put a mirror facing your tv.  Turn around (be careful!) and check out the mirror.  Do this after watching the movie.  Mickelson, dude.

What’s your favorite color?
Black.  Awesome.

What’s the strongest part of your golf game?
Mental.  And sand shots.  I’m better at putting than probably 94% of America.  My weakness is my lack of power since my Karate accident.

Blondes or brunettes?
Both.  And indians, asians, blue girls, girls from canada, whatever.  I’m down.

What’s the weakest part of your golf game?
Why do I have to repeat that?

What do you think is the biggest problem currently facing our world?
High gas prices.  Everybody thinks this sucks and overall its bringing the world down.  You can see it in peoples eyes all over the world.  Starving their collective asses off because they’re stone broke from gas expense. 

What will you do with the $250,000 if you win?

Invest.  My cousin is starting his own music lable in Europe.  I also would enhance my girlfriend, Summer.

Is Al Doermaet a.) brilliant b.) crazy c.) the dumbest f&%#@* guy you’ve ever seen d.) all of the above?  Why?
 
A)  All of the above.  He’s crazy brilliant.  Totally rich.  I want that.

What’s your favorite movie (other than handicapped)?
Rocky I, II, III, and IV – not Rocky V (it never happened – worst movie ever!)

 

Note: These answers, submitted in writing by Mr. Bardo, have not been edited or altered in any way. Please excuse any typos or factual inconsistencies.

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